TRUST

TRUST is a very important factor for all relationships. When trust is broken, itis the end of the relationship. Lack of trust leads to suspicion, suspiciongenerates anger, anger causes enmity and enmity may result in separation.

A telephone operator told me that one day she received a phone call.She answered, "Public Utilities Board." There was silence. She repeated, "PUB."There was still no answer. When she was going to cut off the line, she heard alady's voice, "Oh, so this is PUB. Sorry, I got the number from my husband'spocket but I do not know whose number it is." Without mutual trust, just imaginewhat will happen to the couple if the telephone operator answered with just"hello" instead of "PUB".

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NO POINTING FINGERS

A man asked his father-in-law, "Many people praised you for a successfulmarriage. Could you please share with me your secret?" The father-in-lawanswered in a smile,

"Never criticise your wife for her shortcomings or when she does somethingwrong.! Always bear in mind that because of her shortcomings and weaknesses, shecould not find a better husband than you."

We all look forward to being loved and respected. Many people are afraid oflosing face. Generally, when a person makes a mistake, he would look around tofind a scapegoat to point the finger at.This is the start of a war. We should always remember that when we point onefinger at a person, the other four fingers are pointing at ourselves.

If we forgive others, others will ignore our mistake too.

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CREATING PERFECT RELATIONSHIPS?

A person visited the government matchmaker for marriage, SDU, and requested "Iam looking for a spouse. Please help me to find a suitable one."

The SDU officer said, "Your requirements, please." "Oh, good looking, polite, humorous, sporty, knowledgeable, good in singing anddancing. Willing to accompany me the whole day at home during my leisure hour,if I don't go out. Telling me interesting stories when I need companion forconversation and be silent when I want to rest."

The officer listened carefully and replied, "I understand you need television."There is a saying that a perfect match can only be found between a blind wifeand a deaf husband, because the blind wife cannot see the faults ! of thehusband and the deaf husband cannot hear the nagging of the wife.

Many couples are blind and deaf at the courting stage and dream of perpetualperfect relationship. Unfortunately, when the excitement of love wears off, theywake up and discover that marriage is not a bed of roses.

The nightmare begins.

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NO OVERPOWERING

Many relationships fail because one party tries to overpower another, or demandstoo much. People in love tend to think that love will conquer all and theirspouses will change the bad habits after marriage.

Actually, this is not the case. There is a Chinese saying which carries themeaning that "It is easier to reshape a mountain or a river than a person'scharacter."It is not easy to change. Thus, having high expectation on changing the spousecharacter will cause disappointment and unpleasantness.It would be less painful to change ourselves and lower our expectations..

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RIGHT SPEECH

There is a Chinese saying which carries the meaning that "A speech will eitherprosper or ruin a nation." Many relationships break off because of wrong speech.When a couple is too close with each other, we always forget mutual respect andcourtesy. We may say anything without considering if it would hurt the otherparty.

A friend and her millionaire husband visited their construction site.A worker who wore a helmet saw her and shouted, "Hi, Emily! Remember me? We usedto date in the secondary school." On the way home, her millionaire husbandteased her, "Luckily you married me. Otherwise you will be the wife of aconstruction worker." She answered, "You should appreciate that you married me.Otherwise, he will be the millionaire and not you."

Frequently exchanging these remarks plants the seed for a bad relationship.

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PERSONAL PERCEPTION

Different people have different perception. One man's meat could be anotherman's poison. A couple bought a donkey from the market. On the way home, a boycommented, "Very stupid. Why neither of them ride on the donkey?"

Upon hearing that, the husband let the wife ride on the donkey. He walkedbesides them. Later, an old man saw it and commented, "The husband is the headof family. How can the wife ride on the donkey while the husband is on foot?"Hearing this, the wife quickly got down and let the husband ride on the donkey.

Further on the way home, they met an old Lady. She commented, "How can the manride on the donkey but let the wife walk. He is no gentleman."The husband thus quickly asked the wife to join him on the donkey.

Then, they met a young man. He commented, "Poor donkey, how can you hold up theweight of two persons. They are cruel to you."Hearing that, the husband and wife immediately climbed down from the donkey andcarried it on their shoulders. It seems to be the only choice left.

Later, on a narrow bridge, the donkey was frightened and struggled. They lost their balance and fell into the river.

You can never have everyone praise you, nor will everyone condemn you. Never inthe past, not at present, and never will be in the future.Thus, do not be too bothered by others words if our conscience is clear..

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BE PATIENT

This is a true story which happened in the States.A man came out of his home to admire his new truck. To his puzzlement, histhree-year-old son was happily hammering dents into the shiny paint of thetruck.

The man ran to his son, knocked him away, hammered the little boy's hands intopulp as punishment.When the father calmed down, he rushed his son to the hospital.Although the doctor tried desperately to save the crushed bones, he finally had to amputate the fingers from both the boy's hands.

When the boy woke up from the surgery & saw his bandaged stubs, he innocentlysaid, " Daddy, I'm sorry about your truck." Then he asked, "but when are myfingers going to grow back?"

The father went home & committed suicide. Think about this story the next timesomeone steps on your feet or u wish to take revenge. Think first before u loseyour patience with someone u love.

Trucks can be repaired.. Broken bones & hurtfeelings often can't.Too often we fail to recognise the difference between the person and theperformance. We forget that forgiveness is greater than revenge. People makemistakes. We are allowed to make mistakes. But the actions we take while in arage will haunt us forever.

Pause and ponder. Think before you act. Be patient. Forgive & forget.Love one and all.If you judge people, you have no time to love them.